is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
