i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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