thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
