Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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