best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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