i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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