so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
