You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
