grandma shit on top of the toilet
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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