JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
do herpes really smell.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize