I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
