Whats the glycemic index on semen?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
