I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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