I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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