Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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