Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
