It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My dick has a subreddit
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
