I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
