As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
