So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
