the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
no you cant smoke seaweed
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
