can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
