Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
you never un-have a 4some
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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