i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
