I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
