just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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