Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
