I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
