That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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