Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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