it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
A bitchslap is in order.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
