Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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