Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
