If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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