I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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