I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize