that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize