"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can I color on your dick again?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
