this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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