The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
