So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
