Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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