she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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