He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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