I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
