i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
