I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
