It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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