Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
