Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
