I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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