he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
