Apparently you make a good broom.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
