I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
