what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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