do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
