you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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