He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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