No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
