i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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