a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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