i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
