i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
