so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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