she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
